Category Archives: Hell
Gerald T. Slevin, Update–Criminal Charges of Vatican Child Abuse Cover-Up
Monday, April 16, 2012
Cross-posted on Open Tabernacle, 16 April 2012.
The Catechism offers a clear moral teaching: “Rape is the forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another person. It does injury to justice and charity. Rape deeply wounds the respect, freedom, and physical and moral integrity to which every person has a right. It causes grave damage that can mark the victim for life. It is always an intrinsically evil act. Graver still is the rape of children committed by parents (incest) or those responsible for the education of the children entrusted to them.” (no. 2356)
The current Pope on Child Rape and Child Porno,21 December 2010 :
In his traditional Christmas address yesterday to cardinals and officials working in Rome, Pope Benedict XVI also claimed that child pornography was increasingly considered “normal” by society.
“In the 1970s, paedophilia was theorised as something fully in conformity with man and even with children,” the Pope said.
“It was maintained — even within the realm of Catholic theology — that there is no such thing as evil in itself or good in itself. There is only a ‘better than’ and a ‘worse than’. Nothing is good or bad in itself.”
I DON’T THINK THE POPE HAS EVER READ HIS CATECHISM.
Sex Crimes and the Vatican Documentary
Created in 1962, a now infamous document was issued in secret to bishops. Called Crimen Sollicitationis, it outlined procedures to be followed by bishops when dealing with allegations of child abuse, homosexuality and bestiality by members of the clergy. It swore all parties involved to secrecy on pain of excommunication from the Catholic Church.
This document was reissued in 2001 by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger and sent to all bishops. Yet rather than ordering more openness and cooperation with the authorities as demanded by both law enforcers and the victims, he reiterated its policies and ensured that the Code of Silence be applied to all cases of child abuse involving a priest. Cardinal Ratzinger also instructed that all cases should now be referred to his office directly and that he would maintain ‘exclusive competence’ over the handling of allegations. This is the Catholic Church’s policy to this day and Cardinal Ratzinger is now Pope Benedict XVI.
The policy laid out in the above document has led to systemic failure by the result that a significant number of priest have, in effect, been allowed to abuse again, and further children have been put at risk.
As the documentary explores, Colm O’Gorman is the man responsible for breaking open decades of abuse by Catholic Priests in Ireland in the BAFTA award-winning BBC special Suing the Pope. He links international ‘systemic evidence’ to argue the Vatican has a policy to cover up the sexual abuse of thousands of children across the world.
In Sex Crimes and the Vatican O’Gorman explores four separate cases internationally of widespread clerical abuse, putting the Roman Catholic Church on trial for the reckless endangerment of children. O’Gorman raises the question, ‘Is the Church in default of its obligation as a signatory to the UN Convention of the Rights of the Child?’
A link to the documentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MwOV8QF9d88
SNAP: Survivors Network for those Abused by Priest has come under a hardball attack by the Roman Catholic Church and it’s Perverted Pimps and Leaders.
Bishops reportedly approved new “hardball” strategy v. SNAP
- Bishops reportedly approved new “hardball” strategy v. SNAP
- Group tells top church officials: “Go after predators, not victims”
- It begs Catholics and citizens for help in fighting “unprecedented attacks”
- And it urges St. Louis archbishop to “come clean” about who’s behind the moves
Holding signs and childhood photos at a sidewalk news conference, clergy sex abuse victims and their supporters will respond to a new page one New York Times story today and will urge St. Louis’ archbishop to:
–stop demanding the private e mails of a teenaged St. Louis child sex crime victim,
–apologize for and explain his decision to make this “intimidating” move, and
–disclose which bishops may have discussed or approved a new church “hardball” legal strategy.
They will also beg parishioners and the public to
–contact Catholic officials and insist that they stop and/or denounce this legal tactics, and
–use their time, energy, and donations to help the support group “fight the legal attacks.”
Today, Tuesday, March 13, 2:00 p.m.
Outside archdiocesan chancery office, 4445 Lindell (near Sarah) in St. Louis MO
Two-four clergy sex abuse victims who belong to a confidential support group called SNAP, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAPnetwork.org) including the organization’s long time director
A page one New York Times story today details what victims and their advocates are calling an unprecedented attacks” by Missouri Catholic officials to “intimidate child sex abuse victims, witnesses, whistleblowers and those who help them” by seeking subpoenas and massive amounts of private communications between victims and a support group.
It quotes the head of the NY-based Catholic League as suggesting that several bishops have decided to “come together collectively” to “better toughen up” (However, the US bishops’ official public relations staffer denies this.)
In St. Louis, archdiocesan lawyers are demanding that SNAP turn over perhaps hundreds of pages of the group’s confidential records, including emails to and from a now 19 year old who was repeatedly raped nine years ago by a priest. And in Kansas City, church lawyers and demanding private communications going back 23 years, even from now-deceased individuals who never set foot in KC and who had no knowledge of or role in clergy sex cases there.
The demands, SNAP says, are “invasive, chilling, and designed to discourage victims, witnesses, whistleblowers, police, prosecutors and journalists” from contacting the group for help. They are also costing SNAP tens of thousands of dollars and “causing severe financial hardship” to the group. So SNAP is begging the public and parishioners to “use their resources, clout, voices and donations” to help the organization survive.
The demands arise from two civil lawsuits one called “Jane Doe v. Fr. Joseph D. Ross and the St. Louis archdiocese” and another called “John Doe BP v. Fr. Michael Tierney and the Kansas City diocese.”
The St. Louis suit charges that Ross molested a girl from 1997-2001 at St. Cronan’s Catholic church in the Grove neighborhood of St. Louis city. In 1988, Ross pled guilty to sexually assaulting an 11 year old boy. But after his sentence was completed, Catholic officials quietly put Ross at St. Cronan’s and warned no one of his criminal past. Ross worked as recently as 2002. His current whereabouts are unknown.
The Kansas City suit charges that Tierney molested a boy. At least four other accusers in separate lawsuits have come forward against Tiereny and he was suspended last year because church officials deemed some of the allegations credible.
SNAP believes that this intrusion into the private messages and writings of a child rape survivor is “unwarranted, unnecessary, and hurtful.” They are calling on the two Missouri bishops to call off these hardball tactics immediately. And they want a former St. Louisan, NYC Cardinal Timothy Dolan (who heads the US Conference of Bishops) to publicly denounce the bishops who are using this “mean-spirited” legal tactic.
The demands for document are and depositions are “firsts” in SNAP’s 23 year history. SNAP is not a party to either lawsuit.
Ross has been defrocked. In recent years, he lived in Arkansas but worked in the St. Louis area for 30+ years. Tierney is still a priest and believed to be living in Kansas City.
SNAP is holding similar events today in Washington DC(where the US Conference of Catholic Bishops is headquartered) and New York City (where Dolan, head of the USCCB, now works).
Ahhhh Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Roman Catholic Church’s biggest apologist and chief ass kisser of His High Unholiness the Papal Bullshitter Pope Benedict Arnold.
I liken the Papal Bullshitter as the Anti-Christ, the Spawn of Satan’s Loins and Dolan as his servant on earth.
You apologize like a good neo maxi zoom dweebie and you continue to stand up for your perverts of the Roman Catholic Church and your interests. Maybe it is because you one day want to wear the Fairy Red Slippers and be able to be the next Papal Bullshitter. Oh wait, you would have to wait until your Anti-Christ kicks off and dies and goes to the hell he so richly deserves to spend an eternity in, just like YOU Cardinal Timothy Dolan.
Dolan goes around screaming how us victims are picking on him, the RCC and the Papal Bullshitter. How unfair it is that we seek justice against the perverted rapist priests of his organized crime church. How it is wrong to belittle and besmirch his high unholiness and we should all stop picking on him and leave his sorry ass alone. How it is wrong to make the RCC pay money to us victims. How it is unfair to the church to pay us victims because the evil priest who raped us, or the bishop or cardinal who covered this up and shipped their perverted priests to other parishes so they could rape children some more are dead. Well they may be dead, but us victims are still alive. He screams how most of these people are dead and therefore would not be punished for their actions, yet the church and congregation of the church are the ones who will be punished for their behavior.
That is like saying that Hitler should have never been prosecuted for the behavior of his men under him or his own actions because it would be unfair to the people of Germany if they lost.
That is like saying the sadistic priests of your Inquisitions should never be prosecuted if they could be and that the millions of innocent men, women and children put to death under torture, brutality and evil under the direction of this church’s leaders should just shut the hell up and go away if they were not so dead from the leaders of the Roman Catholic Church actions.
See Dolan, you sorry excuse for a supposed holy man, you are just like all the other evil of the Roman Catholic Church. The Roman Catholic Church is responsible for the rape and murder of millions, but you losers think that you are all above the law. Lleaders like you Timothy Dolan may speak that you care, that you feel shame for us victims of your perverted rapist priests, but your hidden words that seem to always get revealed and your actions speak volumes that you are still one of the perverted, twisted, sick and evil leaders of one of the most bloodiest and evil of all the christian denominations.
Dolan, I seriously doubt that you are going to heaven when you die. I do have knowledge of Jesus Christ, at least the real spirit of Jesus Christ, not the one you freaking pay lip service to. I know for a fact that you, along with the rest of your evil leaders of the Roman Catholic Church are going to be spending an eternity in hell fire. See Jesus Christ does love us children. What did he say? It would be better for you to put a rope around your neck and attach it to a boulder and throw it into the deepest lake than harm a hair on a child? That Jesus Christ loved children most of all. He hated the religious and the leaders of the religious. So what does that say for your future eternity as well as that of your leaders and rapist priests? Seems to me that you all are going to be burning for all eternity in hell for the harm you all caused us children….and continue to cause to this day.
I often wonder how you as a church leader or your papal bullshitter, whom you apologize for all the time, would handle one of the many insane nightmares I have had thanks to this perverted priest? I wonder how you would feel and react to nightmares where you would be gang raped by demons? Or put on a spit and roasted over a fire while the past Popes and leaders of the church dance in glee around your smoking and roasting flesh and then take turns raping you? Where the priest who raped you comes up, takes your penis, rips it off from your body and chews on it with so much relish it is abnormal? Where in these nightmares you actually really feel all of this pain, you really see all of this horror going around you.
After all of these nightmares I have had, I now know your future, but I honestly believe that you, along with the rest of the perverts and rapist of children’s minds, bodies and souls of the roman catholic church, will be the ones being roasted, having your body parts ripped from you and eaten and all the rapes from the demons, will be yours, just as it should be.
You all sicken me. You all disgust me. You are NOT a man of god nor do you truly know your lord and savior Jesus Christ. Yet I do, deep down inside of my heart and soul I know Jesus Christ….and trust me when I say….it sure the hell gonna suck to be your soul when you drop dead.
His Unholiness the Papal Bullshitter Pope Benedict and his henchman and twerp Cardinal Dolan owe the victims of their perverted priests an apology immediately.
The definition of being two-faced means you say one thing but either do or mean another. While the Papal Bullshitter and his leaders of the Roman Catholic Church like Cardinal Timothy Dolan may say that they want to do everything they can to help the victims of their perverted priests, or that they feel our pain and are ashamed of what their perverted priests did to us, but there is a totally different reality here.
Firstly, you have the Papal Bullshitters own words he spoke during a traditional Christmas message to his Cardinals and officials working in Rome in December of 2010. To myself, a victim of one of the church’s perverted priests, this is a call from the Papal Bullshitter to his leaders of the church, that it is perfectly alright for adults to rape children and that child pornography is considered normal so why not ya know? If this leader of the biggest religious denomination on the earth believes that child pornography is normal and sex between an adult and a child is not evil, then this person needs to get a grip on reality and get some professional counseling to include sitting in on therapy sessions of child rape victims. Maybe the Papal Bullshitter and his main apologist Cardinal Timothy Dolan ought to sit in on a few of my therapy sessions.
I know this piece of dog dung says he has listened to the stories of the rape victims of his perverted priests, but there is a difference between listening to the victims and hearing what they are saying. You can “listen” to them all you want, but unless and until their stories of horror really sink into your gray matter between those ears of yours, then you will never truly understand the pain and horror of rape victims.
He also states that he is ashamed and filled with humiliation for the scandal of his priests raping children and his leaders, including himself, who covered it up. Nothing could be further than the truth with this incredible bullshitter. I mean when this supposed man of god was known as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, he got the Vatican to stop the proceedings to defrock a priest who admitted to molesting hundreds of deaf boys in Wisconsin after the priest wrote a letter to Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger. The Papal Bullshitter is also accused of mishandling a German Priest, Father Peter Hullerman, in which this perverted priest was accused by parents of three children of raping them. Hullerman was sent to a psychiatrist in Munich for evaluation, and his psychiatrist, Werner Huth diagnosed him as a pedophile. Even the personal chief of the Essen diocese, Klaus Malangre wrote to his counterpart in Munich, Fr. Friedrich Fahr that Hullerman was dangerous and someone who needed psychiatric treatment and should only teach in a girls school.
Instead of defrocking this priest and having him prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, Ratzinger, as Archbishop, and responsible for the handling of this case, simply restored him to his pastoral duties. What gets me the most is how fast this Papal Bullshitter worked to restore this perverted priest back to duties. It was reported to the church in September of 1979. Hullerman went for his psychiatric interview on December 18, 1979. By January 20th, 1980 Ratzinger was calling for the restoration of this perverts pastoral duties with no prohibitions and on February 1st, 1980 he was returned to his pastoral duties.
By these two incidents, though I imagine there are more that have not come out, and by his own words in his christmas message to the leaders of the church, this shows this Papal Bullshitter talks a good talk to his flock, but when it comes down to the actual nuts and bolts of this perverted Pope’s mind, it shows he could care two shits less about the victims and more about protecting his ass and the ass of the church.
If this Papal Bullshitter is so full of humiliation and sorrow for what the perverted priests of the Roman Catholic Church did to us victims and the coverup of this, then why does not this supposed man of god submit to prosecution for his aiding and abetting the coverups himself? Here is actually another example of this Papal Bullshitters two facedness along with the Roman Catholic Church’s. I shall use an example of one of the teachings of the church for this.
We will take the confessional, a criminal and priests for our example.
A criminal walks into the confessional and confesses to the priest he had just raped a dozen young boys. Now while the priest would maybe get off on this type of a confession, who knows with the priests of the RCC ya know? Yet from what I have read and learned, the priest would never go to the police about this because the confessional is a sacred place supposedly. He would do all he could to counsel the rapist of young boys to turn himself in for prosecution. He would explain to the rapist of young boys that even though he may receive forgiveness and absolution for his crimes from the church, he should face justice for the crimes he has committed. You can actually see this in effect in the rcc featured movies of old where the priest does all he can to talk the criminal into turning themselves in to the authorities.
So is it not being two faced when you act this way, but when it comes time to your own ass, or the ass of the perverted priests, or the leaders of the church who covered this up, and you too should turn yourself in for prosecution, yet, you hide your sorry ass behind the fact you are a leader of the church and a head of state and therefor immune to prosecution for your felonious actions. Same with the rest of this den of perverts. Instead of offering themselves up for prosecution, they all circle their wagons and hide in the Roman Catholic Church, untouchable by law enforcement authorities unless they get off their asses and turn themselves in and admit to what they did wrong.
So if this Papal Bullshitter is truly sorry, ashamed and humiliated for what has happened to us children, then why not, as leader, lead by example and turn his sorry ass in to the proper authorities for prosecution? Because like his Cardinal and apologist Dolan, they feel they are above the law and do not deserve any punishment for their actions. Yet, they will scream that abortion providers and homosexuals actually deserve the death penalty because of harm to children. Now if this is not being two freaking faced I do not know what is.
Now we come to Cardinal Timothy Dolan. The Papal Bullshitters biggest apologist, maybe because he sees this Papal Bullshitter may not last much longer and he wants the job so he defends this leader of his church and does all he can to deny victims of his perverted priests any justice or recompense for the actions of the perverted priests. What I really love is his recent words on the victims of priest rape.
In reference to this news article at this link:
This article is basically how Dolan feels betrayed that New York passed the same sex marriage law. Yet in it, he states:
Dolan also explained that he wanted to keep the statute of limitations for child sex abuse victims to one-year, because if the church gets sued, “The perpetrators don’t suffer. There’s no burden on them. What suffers are the services and the ministries of the apostolates that we’re doing now. Because where does the money come from? So the bishops of 30 years ago that allegedly may have reassigned abusers, they don’t suffer. They’re dead. So the people that suffer are those who are being served right now by the church. We feel that’s a terribly unjust burden.”
Yet again and again, this Cardinal states the tired old, Roman Catholic line that they are ashamed of what happened to us victims and want to do everything they can to help us and make this problem a thing of the past. Though this supposed man of gods words sure do not match does it? Can you say two facedness? I knew you could.
This idiot, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, shows the truth of the Roman Catholic Church and it’s leaders in how they really want to deal with us victims. By making themselves victims. It is the old tried and true bullshit. To make things better for you in the face of overwhelming evidence against you, you make yourself into a poor, poor pityful us, everyone is picking on us. We do not deserve this, we should not be paying for it.
This loser, Cardinal Timothy Dolan does not care about the suffering of us victims. Maybe this supposed man of god hopes that us victims do the same as the perpetrators of child rape and cover up, just simply die. That way the church would not have to dip into it’s billions to pay off the victims. They want to truly get away with their crimes and believe they are justified in doing so. This leader, this Cardinal Timothy Dolan and the Papal Bullshitter are so full of crap their evil eyes are freaking brown. All they care about is again, covering their own asses and protecting the assets of the church. They try their best to put up blocks to justice, real and just compensation for us victims of their rapist priests, and then go about their business. I have come to find, after doing much research on this, they typically offer free therapy for life and $20,000.00 for ruined lives caused by their perverted priests and the leaders who covered it up. Well Dolan and Benedict, I would say right to your faces if given the opportunity, to tell you both maybe you ought to get gang raped by a group of your own priests so you know what us victims really go through.
So Papal Bullshitter High Unholiness Pope Benedict Arnold and your apologist buddy Cardinal Timothy Dolan, you both need to get down on your freaking knees to me and beg me for forgiveness. You owe an apology to each and every one of your perverted rapist priests victims personally for your continued rape of us victims of your perverted priests.
Oh and to the both of you, I may eventually forgive you, but that does not mean you both, along with your rapist priests and perverts who went to bat for them and covered this up, will NOT be burning for all eternity in your christian hell. Trust me when I say this, Jesus Christ hates your guts and has an especially hot place specially reserved for the likes of your sorry, perverted, child raping asses.
Cardinal Dolan, after reading the article about how you feel betrayed that NY passed the gay marriage law, I have a major bone to pick with you. First off I classify your sorry ass with his High Unholiness the Papal Bullshitter Pope Benedict Arnold. As a former Roman Catholic, I am going to tear you a new one right here on my blog.
This is the link to the article I am about to tear him a new one for: http://gothamist.com/2012/03/12/cardinal_dolan_still_sore_about_gay.php
What gets me the most about this apologist for pedophile priests and his Papal Bullshitter, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, is what he stated in the end of this damnable article:
“Dolan also explained that he wanted to keep the statute of limitations for child sex abuse victims to one-year, because if the church gets sued, “The perpetrators don’t suffer. There’s no burden on them. What suffers are the services and the ministries of the apostolates that we’re doing now. Because where does the money come from? So the bishops of 30 years ago that allegedly may have reassigned abusers, they don’t suffer. They’re dead. So the people that suffer are those who are being served right now by the church. We feel that’s a terribly unjust burden.”
WHAT ABOUT THE SUFFERING OF US VICTIMS OF YOUR PERVERTED PEDOPHILE PRIESTS? THIS CHILD MOLESTING CHURCH OF PERVERTS SHOULD FREAKING SUFFER. YOUR CONGREGANTS SHOULD ALSO SUFFER BECAUSE THEY ARE SUPPORTING YOUR SORRY, CHILD MOLESTING ASSES.
OH AND WHY DO THE BISHOPS WHO REASSIGNED THE ABUSERS AND THE PRIESTS WHO MOLESTED US NOT SUFFER? BECAUSE YOUR SORRY ASS, ALONG WITH YOUR PERVERTED POPE, AND THE REST OF YOUR CHURCH LEADERS, PROTECTED THEM ABOVE THE VICTIMS!!!!
HOW FREAKING DARE YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE IT HARD FOR US VICTIMS OF YOUR PERVERTED PRIESTS TO GET COMPENSATION FOR OUR RUINED LIVES? YOU EVIL TOOL OF SATAN. YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR PERVERTED PAPAL BULLSHITTER POPE BECAUSE YOU FREAKING CARE MORE ABOUT COVERING YOUR ASSES, PROTECTING THE ASSETS OF THE CHURCH, AND PROTECTING YOUR SHEEPLE SO YOU CAN CONTINUE TO FLEECE YOUR FLOCK OF THE BILLIONS YOU RAKE IN EACH YEAR AT THE OFFERING PLATES.
IN MY BOOK, YOU DOLAN, DESERVE TO DIE A PAINFUL, INCREDIBLY SUFFERING DEATH. I HOPE THAT YOU GET CANCER OF YOUR MOUTH, THROAT, LUNGS, RECTUM AND STOMACH, ALONG WITH YOUR PAPAL BULLSHITTER, ALL YOUR RAPIST PEDOPHILE PRIESTS AND ALL THE ONES WHO COVERED THIS UP. I PRAY THAT YOU DIE A LINGERING DEATH, FULL OF HORROR AND PAIN. RIGHT ALONGSIDE YOUR PAPAL BULLSHITTER POPE. YOUR PERVERTED PRIESTS RAPED US ONCE AND NOW YOU ARE SEEKING TO RAPE US AGAIN. I SINCERELY HOPE YOU SUFFER THE PAINS OF DEATH AND WHEN YOU GET TO HELL, WHERE YOU BELONG, I KNOW THAT YOUR JESUS CHRIST HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL RESERVED JUST FOR YOU AND THE REST OF YOUR KIND CARDINAL TIMOTHY DOLAN, PAPAL BULLSHITTER BENEDICT AND THE REST OF YOU PEDOPHILE PERVERTS.
I WILL BET THAT YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR SICK AND TWISTED PERVERTED POPE AND BELIEVE THAT CHILD PORNOGRAPHY IS NORMAL AND SEX BETWEEN AN ADULT AND CHILD IS NOT EVIL TOO????
YOU CALL YOURSELF A MAN OF GOD? YOU ARE NOT A MAN OF GOD, YOU ARE AN INSTRUMENT OF EVIL AND A TOOL OF SATAN AND YOU DESERVE TO SUFFER FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AGAINST US CHILDREN WHO WERE RAPED BY YOUR PERVERTED, TWISTED, SICK PRIESTS. YOU DESERVE TO SUFFER ONE HUNDRED TIMES OVER FOR THE HARM YOU HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST US VICTIMS OF YOUR PEDOPHILE PRIESTS. I AM NOW A PAGAN AND I FIRMLY BELIEVE IN THE LAW OF KARMA, BUT TO ME IT IS AS YOU DO, SO SHALL YOU REAP, THREE TIMES THREE. YOU DESERVE IT DOLAN, FOR DOING ALL YOU CAN TO PROTECT YOUR CHURCH AND RAPE US VICTIMS OF YOUR PEDOPHILE PRIESTS AGAIN.
I had ran away from the foster home I was living at in March of 1975. I spent the night with a couple of friends whom I knew when I was growing up named Tammy and Pammy and the next afternoon the police picked me up and brought me to St Thomas More parish in Durham for the night until my social services case worker could get me a new place to live.
I remember it was still light outside and the priest bought me into the rectory and to his bedroom. I remember the bed, it had a large, dark stained headboard of solid wood, it was solid and had a curve on the top with two posts attached and the lower foot board was the same way only shorter and coming up to the top edge of the mattress. There was a dark wool blanket and two pillows. There were two night stands, one with a lamp and a window with a white curtains inside with a darker curtain outside. The priest told me that I was a bad person that running away from home and it was a sin in God’s eyes because I broke the commandment of honoring my mother and father. He told me that I would have to do what he said to remove the sin from my life and save my soul from eternal damnation for breaking one of the ten commandments.
He took off his clothes and made me take off mine. I remember he had a slight paunch belly that was covered in sort of both gray and brown hair. He had me lay on the bed and he started masturbating me. I begged him to stop but he told me that I had to pay for my sins and this was the way God wanted me to pay for it. Once I was erect, which was disgusting to me, he then proceeded to give me oral sex. I remember the whole time he did it I was crying and begging him to stop but he kept on doing it and I felt so ashamed. I could not will my body to stop from even having an erection and I felt incredibly ashamed when I did ejaculate in his mouth. I really started to cry then and thought it was now over but he then told me I had to do to him just as he did to me. He told me what he had done was taken the sin from me and now to be cleansed of my sin, I had to take what he called his sacred sacrament. I begged him to not make me do it, but he then asked me if I wanted to spend an eternity in hell because if I did not do to him what he just did to me and take his sacred sacrament then that is where I was going to go.
I remember he had a small penis and even though I was disgusted, I did not want to go to hell like he told me. I closed my eyes, crying all the time and did what he told me to do. I remember I did try to bite him but he told me if I did that again he would punish me severely. It did not take long, maybe two or three minutes until he ejaculated into my mouth and he told me not to spit it out but to swallow it. I remember right after I swallowed it I threw up into a wastebasket he had besides the bed. He then told me that there was a second step to saving my soul for disobeying and breaking gods commandment for dishonoring and disobeying my parents by running away. He then went to the bathroom and got a jar of vaseline. He first made me perform oral sex on him again to make him erect then he put some vaseline on his penis and made me get on my knees and then bend over. I could feel him put some of the vaseline on my anus and then he penetrated me. He made me say the Our Father and the Hail Mary while he was raping me. It took him a while but I could tell he ejaculated into me. He then made me go to the bathroom and clean myself up. He threw me this dark robe and made me put it on and made me go back to his bed and then he laid next to me and “spooned” with me.
I remember laying there, scared out of my wits. I pretended I was asleep but he reached around and again started playing with my penis. He masturbated me again and then told me if I ever told anyone what happened then I would burn in hell for it. He said the reason I was not to tell anyone is because this was what God wanted and he was a man of God and that I must never reveal the healing I received by taking his sacred sacrament into me. He said this had to be done because I disobeyed god and again broke his commandment for dishonoring my parents. He again told me to never tell anyone or I would burn in hell. He kept saying that over and over again, drilling it into my head that if I told anyone that I
would burn in hell. I did not sleep at all that night. I laid there scared senseless and kept thinking to myself this must be what god wanted of me for punishment and I had to do exactly what the priest told me to do or I would spend an eternity in hell.
The next day my social worker picked me up but I was so scared to tell her what happened because I honestly believed if I did, then I would go to hell. I also believed she would not believe me at all. It would have been my word, a person considered now a juvenile delinquent against the word of a priest. She knew something was wrong but from what she said, she thought it was because I had ran away from the foster home and was worried I would now have to go to jail, but she brought me to the Teen Haven shelter in Rochester NH.
Right after this I became a pyromaniac. I believe it was because of the nightmares I was having about my burning in hell. I set fire to the woods out behind the high school in Rochester, I burned down a house in Madbury but then I got into severe trouble by burning a truck in downtown Rochester. I got arrested for it the next day and was sent to Austin Cate Academy in Center Strafford N.H.
One of the major problems with priest rape victims is our ability to trust. As I stated before, I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church. To me a priest, nun or any other official of the RCC were god to us. It was as if god himself was talking to us through them. You also obeyed these priests, nuns and church leaders without question or backtalk. They wanted you to do something you did it immediately without question. If you argued with the priest or the nun, then you normally found out even when they were wrong, you just allowed them to be right if you know what I mean.
Because of this, I was truly unable to trust anyone, especially in any relationship I found myself into. With the mother of my first son, she was incredibly abusive. That is something else I have learned in therapy. We sort of attract these kinds of people into our lives because we believe these are the kinds of people we only deserve to have in our lives.
We broke up because she smashed me in the face with a cordless phone so hard she cracked the casing of the phone. I got up and slapped her in the face, the first time I had ever hit a woman in my whole life. I became totally distraught. That night was the end for us. After we broke up the nightmares started coming back from the priest. My life really started going to hell in a handbasket. The old tapes came back. I was evil. I deserved this. God hated me therefor I hated god. It was a viscous cycle of “evil” return. I deserved this because the priest called me an evil child, a child of the devil. That I disobeyed god’s commandments about my parents and therefor for the rest of my life I would be punished for it.
December 17th, 1991 was one night in which I will never forget. The next day was my birthday. I missed my son so much. I had not seen him in months. His mother and maternal grandmother were making my life a living hell. I started drinking that morning almost as soon as I got up. I then went to take care of the guy I was working with who was a paraplegic. I stole all of his darvocets and some other pill I knew he used to stop the pain he was going through.
I went to a restaurant/bar to have what I believed would be my last meal. Fried shrimp, french fries and drank six Molsons. I ran into a friend outside the bar and we went to toke a joint. He told me he would stop by tomorrow and we would do something but I believe I told him that I would not be around after tomorrow, that this was my last night on earth and told him good bye.
On my walk home all the old evil tapes kept running in my head. I was actually looking for a reason for me to continue living but I couldn’t. I came to the conclusion the priest was right all along. I was evil, a child of the devil. No matter what I did to correct this, I would always be evil. I would always lose what I love the most and my son to me was my life, my will to live. It finally came to me that he would never be in my life because god did not want my evil in his life.
I got home and I lined up all the pills. I also poured me a shot of Crown Royal. I remember taking each pill. I looked at each of them before I popped them into my mouth. I would tell each pill to do their work. I remember taking almost all of them. I drank another shot and waited for the pills to take their effect. About a half an hour later I started taking the last ones I had because I had not gone to sleep yet. All of a sudden I heard a knock on the door and it was two police officers. My friend had called the cops because he was worried about me. I saw the cops and I walked over, took down the picture of my son and ran into what would have been his bedroom. I know I was sitting there crying my eyes out hugging the picture screaming how I wanted to just be allowed to die. That I was evil and I did not deserve to live. The police were incredible though. They waited til I semi-passed out, picked me up and bought me down to the waiting ambulance. I remember they had to walk me down the steps because the gurney would not fit up the stairs. As I was laid down on the gurney I remember looking up and seeing the mother of my sons police officer uncle and I thought he was laughing at me being a failure.
I woke up in the ICU. My stomach had been pumped out from all the pills I had swallowed. When I talked to the psychiatrist I did not tell him that what happened with priest was more the catalyst for what I had done than anything else, but I just told him this was all about my son. They gave me a choice. Either I check myself in or they would do what is called a Baker Act on me so I checked myself in because then I could check myself out whenever I wished to. I stayed til almost new years in the psychiatric ward of the hospital. I knew the whole time as soon as they let me out I would do my best to kill myself again. I played their game just so they would let me out.
About three days after they let me out I purchased a whole bunch of Valiums. I bought 10 val 10 grams and 3 val 15 mg. I also bought a pint of smirnoffs 100 proof vodka. I bought a small bag of pot too. I went to the store across the street and bought me my last dinner. I made me a meat loaf but did not eat it. I had already drank the pint of vodka and went and bought another pint. I then got home, took out a highball glass, put all the Valiums into the glass and poured vodka over it, letting it dissolve all the pills. I then drank it down in one drink. There was a little sediment left in the glass so I poured some more vodka into it, swirled it around and drank it down.
It did not take long for it to start to take effect. Yet there was a knock on my door. This time it was Angie, a female friend of mine. I do not remember much from that night, except for what she told me about a week later.
She told me she felt she urgently needed to come to my place, that something was terribly wrong. She said when she got to my place, I was almost gone then. She said I was crying and screaming how evil I was and how I just wanted to die. She told me I talked about the priest, how he was right and I was a child of the devil. That no matter what my life was going to be crap so just let me die. When she bought up my son as the biggest reason to live, she told me that he was not my son cause the devil would not have such a good son as he was.
She told me I passed out numerous times, but she would bring me to the shower, turn it on ice cold and toss me in. At one point I got so angry with her interference that I slammed my head on the coffee table as hard as I could so apparently I could split my head open. She said I ran to the kitchen to get a knife but she knocked it out of my hand.
The next day I woke up on the couch, still alive. Angie was gone.
To this day I still cannot understand why I am still alive. I should be dead. The first pill suicide episode should have killed me but it did not. The second should have definitely killed me, but Angie the Angel showed up. Many other times I have attempted suicide should have killed me but did not. I remember one time attempting to hang myself and the damn rope breaking.
Why am I still here? I have come to realize that it is because I must be here. I must stand up and take back the life this priest stole from me. That I must learn that what this priest drilled into my young head is an out and out lie. I am NOT EVIL, I am NOT a child of the devil. This priest put that into my head and it does not belong there.
The way I look at it now is, these perverted priests do this so we victims would in fact eventually kill ourselves. They in effect are murderers in my book. Any of their victims commit suicide because of these perverted priests actions are just as guilty of murder as if they pulled the trigger or fed the pills to their victims themselves. So is the Papal Bullshitter, his High Unholiness the Pope and all those who covered this up. All of these victims deaths are on your hands, heads and souls. YOUR actions killed these people.
I am one of the lucky ones. By all rights I should be dead. My life was saved for some reason. No, to me it was not god, jesus christ or any of that bullshit that saved my life. It was the Universe and the Gods and Goddesses of Old. It was my Godmother who continues to watch over me from the other side. I am here for a reason. To take back my life, to take back my soul, to take back my mind and heart, from this evil priest, his perverted bosses and most especially to reclaim that which was stolen from me from this perverted church and it’s leaders.
His Unholiness, the Papal Bullshitter, Pope Benedict, said he wanted to do all he could to make sure the church took care of us victims. Yet he is full of shit plain and simple. He is more concerned with protecting his own damn ass and the church than he ever was protecting children from the perverted priests he has running his churches.
By his own damn words he convicts himself as one of the true perverts of the Roman Catholic Church. I am copying this report directly from http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/world-news/popersquos-child-porn-normal-claim-sparks-outrage-among-victims-15035449.html#ixzz1p7tlkhj3 and I am going to make comments as the sections go.
Victims of clerical sex abuse have reacted furiously to Pope Benedict’s claim yesterday that paedophilia wasn’t considered an “absolute evil” as recently as the 1970s.
In his traditional Christmas address yesterday to cardinals and officials working in Rome, Pope Benedict XVI also claimed that child pornography was increasingly considered “normal” by society.
How dare you, you sick and disgusting pervert leader of the Roman Catholic Church to claim that child pornography was considered “normal” by society. Which freaking society are YOU living in you sick and twisted pervert? I don’t know about you, but in the United States of America, you possess child pornography, YOU GO TO PRISON FOR IT, so is that normal to YOU, your Unholiness?
“In the 1970s, paedophilia was theorised as something fully in conformity with man and even with children,” the Pope said.
This just goes to show this pope more than likely molested children himself. He protects his child molesting priests, so what makes me think, with his reasoning and his words, that he himself does not molest children? How in the hell can he even call himself a man of god when he agrees that child porn and sex between an adult and children as normal and in full conformity? You are one sick and twisted individual Pope to be saying this crap out of your pie hole.
The Pope said abuse revelations in 2010 reached “an unimaginable dimension” which brought “humiliation” on the Church.
The ONLY humiliation that has been bought on the church is us victims. You could give two shits less about the victims, your Unholiness. You only care about protecting your ass, the asses of your pedophile priests and the billions the church has. You do not care one iota about us victims of your sick and twisted priests.
Asking how abuse exploded within the Church, the Pontiff called on senior clerics “to repair as much as possible the injustices that occurred” and to help victims heal through a better presentation of the Christian message.
First off how did this abuse explode within the church? Because the leaders knew about it and they freaking hid it. When they knew a priest was sexually abusing a child, what did they do? Did they turn them into the police department for prosecution like they should have? NO. Did they defrock the priest? NO. Did they bend over backwards to help the victim? HELL NO. What they did, these marvelous church leaders, including the present perverted Papal Bullshitter Benedict, was transfer these priests to other parishes so they could continue raping and molesting other children.
The leaders fought any and all attempts to bring this to light and they did everything they could to avoid prosecution of these priests and the leaders who covered it all up. They still are doing this. Yeah for about one year when this really broke out, they worked with the victims, mostly offering them as recompense for the horrors we went through, to pay for therapy and if the victim was lucky, they got about 20 grand for their ruined lives.
N.H. is a prime example of this. There was a Bishop named McConnell who actually cared about the victims and did what he could for them. Yet the Pope and all the other officials hate these kinds of Bishops. They want them to settle with the victims as little as possible.
Yet what price do you put on the pain and suffering we victims have been through?
I know what I am demanding. $25,000.00 per year for pain and suffering for 37 years of horror and nightmares, For all the suicide attempts and my undying hatred towards the christians and the christian god. I am also demanding $15,000.00 per year for 34 years for lost wages. Plus they are going to pay my lawyers fees and any and all money paid back to Social Security and Medicaid/Medicare for all the money they spent thanks to my insanity caused by the priest raping me. I am also demanding that the Roman Catholic Church set up at least six half way houses for abused men. Abused women have all the help they can get, but abused men have no where to turn to for real help. Well the RCC is going to help me rectify this at least in the state of NH. Either they settle for what I want or I will take their sorry asses to court and let a jury award me ten times this amount.
What better presentation will be the christian message? That the Papal Bullshitter, his bishops and priests can get away with raping children, covering it up, torturing us victims with your false bullshit? I do not want to hear a better presentation of the Christian message because as far as I am concerned, your Christian message is that you are special in that you can rape children with no punishment at all and think your god and jesus christ can protect you and when you die you are going to spend an eternity in heaven???? Bullshit, Papal Bullshitter, you, your bishops and your perverted priests will burn in hell for what you did to us children.
“We cannot remain silent about the context of these times in which these events have come to light,” he said, citing the growth of child pornography “that seems in some way to be considered more and more normal by society” he said.