Category Archives: suicide

Ebensburg man, child abuse victims advocate, takes own life


Ebensburg man, child abuse victims advocate, takes own life

From the Link: http://www.tribdem.com/news/local_news/ebensburg-man-child-abuse-victims-advocate-takes-own-life/article_1304b550-d75a-5ea0-b3a1-d88902c61fe3.html

In 2003, Brian Gergely, right, and Kevin Hoover show old photographs of themselves during a news conference in Altoona, Pa. They said the pictures were taken during the time they allege a Roman Catholic priest sexually abused them while they were altar boys. The men, along with three others, sued the Altoona-Johnstown diocese, about 80 miles east of Pittsburgh, Bishop Joseph Adamec, and former Bishop Joseph Hogan, claiming the church should have known about the abuse and was negligent. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)

In 2003, Brian Gergely, right, and Kevin Hoover show old photographs of themselves during a news conference in Altoona, Pa. They said the pictures were taken during the time they allege a Roman Catholic priest sexually abused them while they were altar boys. The men, along with three others, sued the Altoona-Johnstown diocese, about 80 miles east of Pittsburgh, Bishop Joseph Adamec, and former Bishop Joseph Hogan, claiming the church should have known about the abuse and was negligent. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)

A onetime sexual abuse victim who has spoken out about clergy abuse in the diocese has died.

Brian Gergely, 46, was found dead July 1 inside his Ebensburg home of a self-inflicted injury, Cambria County Coroner Jeffrey Lees said Tuesday.

The Ebensburg man died of asphyxiation, he said.

Gergely was a 1988 graduate of Bishop Carroll Catholic High School, where he was a standout running back for the football team.

Over the years, he worked as a behavioral health specialist and therapeutic support staffer who spent years counseling youth.

In recent years, he went public about abuse he suffered in the 1980s at the hands of his church’s former priest, the Rev. Francis McCaa. Gergely said he hoped his willingness to speak out would encourage others to step forward and begin to overcome their own private struggles.

In its March 1 report of widespread child sexual abuse by clergy across the Altoona-Johnstown Roman Catholic Diocese, the state attorney general’s office called McCaa “a monster” who groped and “fondled the genitals of numerous children” who attended or served at Holy Name Church in Ebensburg.

The report estimated that McCaa’s victims numbered “in the hundreds.” McCaa died in 2007.

‘He was a monster’: how priest child abuse tore apart Pennsylvania towns


‘He was a monster’: how priest child abuse tore apart Pennsylvania towns

A grand jury report issued last week details abuse by dozens of Catholic leaders in the small communities of Altoona-Johnstown from the 1950s to the 1990s

in Ebensburg, Pennsylvania
Tuesday 8 March 2016

From the Link: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/mar/08/catholic-priest-child-sex-abuse-ebensburg-pennsylvania

In 2003, Brian Gergely, right, and Kevin Hoover show old photographs of themselves during a news conference in Altoona, Pa. They said the pictures were taken during the time they allege a Roman Catholic priest sexually abused them while they were altar boys. The men, along with three others, sued the Altoona-Johnstown diocese, about 80 miles east of Pittsburgh, Bishop Joseph Adamec, and former Bishop Joseph Hogan, claiming the church should have known about the abuse and was negligent. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)

In 2003, Brian Gergely, right, and Kevin Hoover show old photographs of themselves during a news conference in Altoona, Pa. They said the pictures were taken during the time they allege a Roman Catholic priest sexually abused them while they were altar boys. The men, along with three others, sued the Altoona-Johnstown diocese, about 80 miles east of Pittsburgh, Bishop Joseph Adamec, and former Bishop Joseph Hogan, claiming the church should have known about the abuse and was negligent. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)

One of Brian Gergely’s fellow altar boys had a code he would use to signal danger in the room where they and the priest prepared for mass.

“He would say ‘red buttons’, and that was the alert that the priest was coming up behind you, and we would try to get away from him, running around the desk in the middle of the room where he kept the chalices, the host and the wine,” said Gergely, 46.

Gergely was 10 at the time.

The priest was Monsignor Francis McCaa, a commanding figure in the small Pennsylvania town of Ebensburg in his black cassock with the red buttons, and one of dozens of Catholic leaders named in a devastating report issued last week by a state grand jury detailing appalling child sex abuse in his diocese and a systematic cover-up by the church.

“I was standing in the sacristy and he pinned me to the desk. I was just a little guy,” Gergely said. McCaa assaulted him there and also while the boy gave confession, at the Holy Name church where his family worshipped.

“My parents were patrons,” Gergely said. “They were going door to door raising money for the church. The community put Monsignor McCaa on a pedestal.”

Other priests named in the report worked in the past at the school, where Gergely recalls being subjected to tough corporal punishment.

With a population of just 3,300, Ebensburg has been jolted by the horrifying details of past abuse in its midst. The grand jury report issued by Pennsylvania attorney general Kathleen Kane describes sex crimes committed on children from the 1950s through the 1990s all across the sprawling Altoona-Johnstown diocese that lies between Pittsburgh and Harrisburg, involving more than 50 church leaders and hundreds of victims. And it reveals previously concealed church documents showing lists of secret payouts made to victims in the diocese.

Bishop Joseph Adamec

Bishop Joseph Adamec

The pattern of offenses, cover-ups and shuffling accused priests from parish to parish echoes the huge scandals already exposed in Boston, Philadelphia, and elsewhere in recent times.

The report also establishes that church authorities in Altoona-Johnstown knew decades ago what was going on, as did some civic officials and senior figures in the criminal justice system. Many details came out in public in one of the few high-profile civil lawsuits in the early 90s, filed against Father Francis Luddy, a priest who served in both Altoona and Johnstown.

But instead of leaping into action, authorities in Pennsylvania did little, the report asserts, and there was relatively little public outcry.

Now the extent of abuse in the diocese is being unveiled, though notably after the statute of limitations has expired for both criminal and civil action, and with many – but not all – of the perpetrators and their enablers already dead.

Lying midway between Altoona and Johnstown in the Allegheny mountains, Ebensburg is typical of the many small communities across the diocese, steeped in the Catholic tradition and striving to prosper in the face of declining traditional industries, especially coal mining.

McCaa’s reported depravity on his young flock stands out.

“Father Francis McCaa was a monster,” the grand jury stated.

The investigation found 15 of his alleged victims, abused between 1961 and 1985.

Bishop Mark Bartchak

Bishop Mark Bartchak

“In some cases children tried to report their abuse to their parents … but were not believed … the grand jury aches at hearing the hopelessness these victims felt when being offended on by a pastor they were taught to respect and honor,” the report says. Some parents punished their children for accusing the “friendly” monsignor, the report says, though at one point the bishop at the time, James Hogan, was confronted by a group of “outraged parents” and promised action.

Hogan met with district attorney Gerald Long and assistant DA Patrick Kiniry, both now serving as judges in the area, the report says, though no charges were brought.

McCaa was removed from the diocese and replaced with a priest who is also named in the report as a pedophile.

McCaa retired in 1993 and died in 2007. Hogan died in 2005.

Gergely was at the courthouse in Ebensburg on Friday to witness three state lawmakers holding a small public event in the marbled vestibule to announce a call for more action.

The three pledged to fight for legislation – which has been stuck for many years in committee in the state capital of Harrisburg– on whether to abolish the statute of limitations in civil cases involving child abuse. They also plan to introduce a bill to create a special, two-year window allowing past victims to sue the church.

“Just in this borough, it’s like a cancer,” said the state senator David Burns. “Everyone here knows a victim, even though they may not know they know it. The attorney general did not say the investigation is closed and there may be more to come. They estimate that in a single little town like this, McCaa affected a generation of kids.”

And people may not have realized the extent to which tears in the fabric of the community were ripped by McCaa and his ilk, Burns said.

Father Francis B McCaa head stone

Father Francis B McCaa head stone

“We have a large drug problem in our area, we deal with high driving-under-the-influence (DUI) arrests, and we just think that’s because the community is poor and unemployed, but it could be that a lot of these kids have had a hard time integrating into society because of the impact of this abuse. It strains family and sexual relationships, and it often takes years, especially for a man, to report something,” said Burns.

He said he had no reason to believe that abuse was not continuing after the period covered in the report and he hoped there would be further action.

Nationally, John Salveson, founder of the campaign group the Foundation to Abolish Child Abuse, and other activist groups, such as the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (Snap), are calling on Barack Obama to launch a federal investigation.

State assemblyman Mark Rozzi’s district is outside the Altoona-Johnstown diocese. But he is calling for a grand jury investigations in every diocese in Pennsylvania.

Rozzi said that legislators at the state assembly in Harrisburg were “running away and hiding in their offices, refusing to speak to me” when he tried to talk about taking government action against the abuse.

Rozzi, now 44, said when he was 13, he fell prey to his priest, Edward Graff.

When Graff invited a school friend of Rozzi’s to the rectory, too, the boy realized he was not the only one. Rozzi recalls Graff telling the friend to wait, while he took Rizzo into the shower and raped him.

“I remember staring at this bit of the shower wall and thinking: ‘I can stand here and take this or I can run,’” he said.

Rozzi shoved the man off him and raced out of the shower, grabbing some clothes and yelling to his friend to flee.

“I was running down the hall of the rectory, basically naked. Father was screaming at us. I said to my friend: ‘No one can know about this,’” he said. They ran away, terrified.

Rozzi became a star athlete at college, but suffered psychologically. He had appalling nightmares about being chased and raped by the priest, dreams which he tried to quell with marijuana. He credits his wife, whom he met at college, for helping to save his sanity.

After unsuccessfully lobbying the state assembly, while in his thirties, to take action on child abuse, Rozzi ran for office himself. Three of his childhood friends who also suffered sexual abuse by priests have killed themselves, the most recent on Good Friday last year.

Brian Gergely started drinking at 10 after he says he was groped by McCaa. Disappointing grades at school and two DUI convictions thwarted his ambition to become a lawyer. He is now a behavioral therapist for kids with special needs, has trouble keeping a girlfriend and is single, he said. In 2006, he tried to hang himself.

The bishop who succeeded James Hogan, Joseph Adamec, who has since retired, testified to the grand jury. He is excoriated in the report for failing to take action against numerous abusive priests, while ignoring victims. The report says church leaders sought to discredit victims and their families.

Adamec was not at home on Friday evening at the address publicly listed for him in Hollidaysburg, near Altoona, and could not be reached for comment.

But at his house next to the church where he is pastor in Altoona, Monsignor Michael Servinsky, 69, answered the door and spoke while standing in his hallway beneath portraits of the pope and the current bishop of the diocese.

Servinsky was cited in the grand jury report as having failed to notify law enforcement in 2001 and 2002 about two priests who admitted past abuse to him, one of boys the other of girls.

Servinsky denied to the Guardian that he had done anything wrong.

“I think the grand jury did quite a hatchet job on Bishop Joseph – they did him in. He was very concerned about making sure the victims got covered [financially]. And they talk about Bishop Hogan manipulating the legal system. No. I know situations where police and judges would collar him and say: ‘Get that guy out of here and we will not prosecute.’ We are talking about a different age, going back 40 or 50 years,” he said.

Servinsky added, however, that there was “no excuse” for child abuse.

He said some priests were dismissed and others were allowed to retire “because if we dismissed them, they would not have any income, and that would not be just”.

Asked whether the priests should be in prison, Servinsky argued that pedophilia has always been a problem going back millennia and in 2016 “we are still dealing with the same problem”, so what good would prison do?

“We have capital punishment and there are still murders,” he said, adding: “Most of the victims who came to us were not interested in taking it to law enforcement. They didn’t want to testify.”

Two miles up the street, the basilica-style Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament overlooks downtown Altoona.

Around 100 parishioners attended a Lent service there on Friday evening. Numerous priests named in the grand jury’s report served at the cathedral during their careers, and the report found that children were raped on the premises.

Emerging with her adolescent son, Tina, a physical education assistant born and raised in Altoona, who preferred not to give her last name, said she thought the turnout at the service had been “three times as high as normal” as people showed their support for the embattled diocese.

Inside, Father Dennis Kurdziel had just finished presiding.

He said he was “stunned and sickened” by the revelations in the grand jury report and regretted that it forced all those “wearing the collar” to feel the eye of suspicion, whether accurate or not.

“It takes your breath away. I felt this week like I was hit in the face with a two-by-four,” he said.

Current Altoona-Johnstown bishop Mark Bartchak apologized on Thursday. But state lawmakers Burns, Rozzi and John Wozniak said the test of his sincerity would be what he and other leaders do now.

Kurdziel said: “We should not hide behind the statute of limitations. If it could somehow help and protect people, then we should do it. I have a responsibility as a priest. I don’t like to think of it as power.”

Asked what a young parishioner should do if a man of the church attempts to touch them inappropriately, he said: “Smack them in the face as hard as you can and run to a cop.”

 

Pope Francis asked us for forgiveness..my response to him


This is my first communion. I am in the first row with my two brothers. My older brother Joe on the left of me, my twin brother Paul on my right.

This is my first communion. I am in the first row with my two brothers. My older brother Joe on the left of me, my twin brother Paul on my right.

Not so long ago, Pope Francis asked priest abuse victims for forgiveness.

Yet how do those of us, whom were raped and had our souls stolen from us, whom committed suicide because of it, can give him forgiveness, or any of us so harmed, when he refuses to clean house of all the Cardinals, Bishops and Archbishops whom covered up these evil crimes and are still sitting in the positions that they are in?

How can Paul Anthony Carson, whom upon seeing the priest whom raped him walking down the street and then going home and hanging himself, being found by his parents, forgive him?

How can Emma Foster, whom was raped by Father Kevin O’Donnell, while at a primary school whom committed suicide because of it, forgive him?

How can Daniel Neill, whom committed suicide because of his rapist priest, Joseph Gallagher, forgive him?

How can the 30 boys raped at the St Alipius primary school, whom committed suicide forgive him for their rapes?

How can David M. Jarboe Jr. whom stepped into the parking lot of downtown Owensboro’s Blessed Mother Catholic Church and because of his horror from his priest rape, blew his brains out, forgive him?

How can the 40 suicide victims of another parish in Victoria Australia forgive him?

Or the thirteen victims of priest rape whom committed suicide in Belgium forgive him?

Or the thousands of others, whom committed suicide, because of their rapes and soul tortures by their pedophile priests forgive him?

How can the parents and relatives of these children, ever forgive him? Whom lost their child, due to the brutal rapes and soul destruction of them.

How can the parents of Paul Anthony Carson, whom cut him down, and were devastated forgive him? Or any of the other parents?

None of them can. Matter of fact, they are supposedly in hell, burning for all eternity, because the pain and suffering brought on by their rapes by Roman Catholic priests, committed suicide, which the RC teaches that if you do commit suicide, then you will burn in hell for eternity. I don’t believe they are. I believe they are in Paradise, free from all of their suffering, at peace and filled with light and love. They are the true Angels, the Guardians, the Protectors of us still here.

The horror, the suffering, the pain, of those of us, whom were raped, whom had our souls stolen from us, whom then were continually brutalized by the leaders of the church, whom told us we were to blame for our rapes, that we seduced their priests, that because we did not punch our rapist priests in the face, that meant we not only wanted to be raped, we enjoyed our rapes and we are homosexuals because of it, with all the connotations that goes along with that evil declaration against us, have driven many of us to kill ourselves. Or that we should consider our rapes as gifts from God, or many other equally disgusting insults thrown at us by those leaders whom are supposed to help us heal.

In my opinion, the Roman Catholic Church, from Pope Francis, to the Cardinals such as Timothy Dolan, Donald Wuerl, Roger Mahony, Bernard Law, John Niedstedt,  and many others, Bishops and Archbishops, are just as responsible, not only for the rapes of these men and women, but also for the suicides of these victims. They drove many to commit suicide over what they said about us, and that makes them as responsible for these suicide deaths as if they pulled the triggers themselves. You do not insult, nor you do not blame the victims of rape for their rapes.

No Pope Francis, until you do what you have promised us you would do. Clean house, stop fighting us victims when we seek justice for the crimes committed against us, with the church lawyers getting our cases dismissed using the statues of limitations.

When Parishioners start caring more about us, their very children of the church, whom were raped and brutalized, and many of you turned your backs on your own children, because you would rather support the leaders of your churches, over your very own children.

When people stand up and demand that the disgusting attacks against us, like Bill Donohue of the Catholic League, whom claims we seduced our priests, whom claims because we did not punch our rapist priests in the face when they were raping us, thereby, we not only wanted to be raped, we enjoyed our rapes and we are homosexuals because of it.

Then maybe, we will find it to forgive you all. We cannot do so, until all of you, truly repent, and start standing up for us, instead of those whom so harmed us.


The Catechism of the Catholic Church speaks about rape.

PART THREE
LIFE IN CHRIST

SECTION TWO
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

CHAPTER TWO
“YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF”

ARTICLE 6
THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT

II The Vocation to Chastity:

Offenses Against Chastity

2356: Rape is the forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another person. It does injury to justice and charity. Rape deeply wounds the respect, freedom, and physical and moral integrity to which every person has a right. It causes grave damage that can mark the victim for life. It is always an intrinsically evil act. Graver still is the rape of children committed by parents (incest) or those responsible for the education of the children entrusted to them. 

Start living up to your Catechism teachings. Start standing up for your sons and daughters whom had their lives devastated by a pedophile priest of this church. How many more of your children must die? How many more of your children will commit suicide before you finally wake up and realize that YOU MUST stand up for your own children over the Pope, Cardinals, Bishops and Archbishops of the Roman Catholic Church?

How many more parents are going to come home and find their child dead because of this evil?

The Face of Suicide II


One of the major problems with priest rape victims is our ability to trust. As I stated before, I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church. To me a priest, nun or any other official of the RCC were god to us. It was as if god himself was talking to us through them. You also obeyed these priests, nuns and church leaders without question or backtalk. They wanted you to do something you did it immediately without question. If you argued with the priest or the nun, then you normally found out even when they were wrong, you just allowed them to be right if you know what I mean.

Because of this, I was truly unable to trust anyone, especially in any relationship I found myself into. With the mother of my first son, she was incredibly abusive. That is something else I have learned in therapy. We sort of attract these kinds of people into our lives because we believe these are the kinds of people we only deserve to have in our lives.

We broke up because she smashed me in the face with a cordless phone so hard she cracked the casing of the phone. I got up and slapped her in the face, the first time I had ever hit a woman in my whole life. I became totally distraught. That night was the end for us. After we broke up the nightmares started coming back from the priest. My life really started going to hell in a handbasket. The old tapes came back. I was evil. I deserved this. God hated me therefor I hated god. It was a viscous cycle of “evil” return. I deserved this because the priest called me an evil child, a child of the devil.  That I disobeyed god’s commandments about my parents and therefor for the rest of my life I would be punished for it.

December 17th, 1991 was one night in which I will never forget. The next day was my birthday. I missed my son so much. I had not seen him in months. His mother and maternal grandmother were making my life a living hell. I started drinking that morning almost as soon as I got up. I then went to take care of the guy I was working with who was a paraplegic. I stole all of his darvocets and some other pill I knew he used to stop the pain he was going through.

I went to a restaurant/bar to have what I believed would be my last meal. Fried shrimp, french fries and drank six Molsons. I ran into a friend outside the bar and we went to toke a joint. He told me he would stop by tomorrow and we would do something but I believe I told him that I would not be around after tomorrow, that this was my last night on earth and told him good bye.

On my walk home all the old evil tapes kept running in my head. I was actually looking for a reason for me to continue living but I couldn’t. I came to the conclusion the priest was right all along. I was evil, a child of the devil. No matter what I did to correct this, I would always be evil. I would always lose what I love the most and my son to me was my life, my will to live. It finally came to me that he would never be in my life because god did not want my evil in his life.

I got home and I lined up all the pills. I also poured me a shot of Crown Royal. I remember taking each pill. I looked at each of them before I popped them into my mouth. I would tell each pill to do their work. I remember taking almost all of them. I drank another shot and waited for the pills to take their effect. About a half an hour later I started taking the last ones I had because I had not gone to sleep yet. All of a sudden I heard a knock on the door and it was two police officers. My friend had called the cops because he was worried about me. I saw the cops and I walked over, took down the picture of my son and ran into what would have been his bedroom. I know I was sitting there crying my eyes out hugging the picture screaming how I wanted to just be allowed to die. That I was evil and I did not deserve to live. The police were incredible though. They waited til I semi-passed out, picked me up and bought me down to the waiting ambulance. I remember they had to walk me down the steps because the gurney would not fit up the stairs. As I was laid down on the gurney I remember looking up and seeing the mother of my sons police officer uncle and I thought he was laughing at me being a failure.

I woke up in the ICU. My stomach had been pumped out from all the pills I had swallowed. When I talked to the psychiatrist I did not tell him that what happened with priest was more the catalyst for what I had done than anything else, but I just told him this was all about my son. They gave me a choice. Either I check myself in or they would do what is called a Baker Act on me so I checked myself in because then I could check myself out whenever I wished to. I stayed til almost new years in the psychiatric ward of the hospital. I knew the whole time as soon as they let me out I would do my best to kill myself again. I played their game just so they would let me out.

About three days after they let me out I purchased a whole bunch of Valiums. I bought 10 val 10 grams and 3 val 15 mg. I also bought a pint of smirnoffs 100 proof vodka. I bought a small bag of pot too. I went to the store across the street and bought me my last dinner. I made me a meat loaf but did not eat it. I had already drank the pint of vodka and went and bought another pint. I then got home, took out a highball glass, put all the Valiums into the glass and poured vodka over it, letting it dissolve all the pills. I then drank it down in one drink. There was a little sediment left in the glass so I poured some more vodka into it, swirled it around and drank it down.

It did not take long for it to start to take effect. Yet there was a knock on my door. This time it was Angie, a female friend of mine. I do not remember much from that night, except for what she told me about a week later.

She told me she felt she urgently needed to come to my place, that something was terribly wrong. She said when she got to my place, I was almost gone then. She said I was crying and screaming how evil I was and how I just wanted to die. She told me I talked about the priest, how he was right and I was a child of the devil. That no matter what my life was going to be crap so just let me die. When she bought up my son as the biggest reason to live, she told me that he was not my son cause the devil would not have such a good son as he was.

She told me I passed out numerous times, but she would bring me to the shower, turn it on ice cold and toss me in. At one point I got so angry with her interference that I slammed my head on the coffee table as hard as I could so apparently I could split my head open. She said I ran to the kitchen to get a knife but she knocked it out of my hand.

The next day I woke up on the couch, still alive. Angie was gone.

To this day I still cannot understand why I am still alive. I should be dead. The first pill suicide episode should have killed me but it did not. The second should have definitely killed me, but Angie the Angel showed up. Many other times I have attempted suicide should have killed me but did not. I remember one time attempting to hang myself and the damn rope breaking.

Why am I still here? I have come to realize that it is because I must be here. I must stand up and take back the life this priest stole from me. That I must learn that what this priest drilled into my young head is an out and out lie. I am NOT EVIL, I am NOT a child of the devil. This priest put that into my head and it does not belong there.

The way I look at it now is, these perverted priests do this so we victims would in fact eventually kill ourselves. They in effect are murderers in my book. Any of their victims commit suicide because of these perverted priests actions are just as guilty of murder as if they pulled the trigger or fed the pills to their victims themselves. So is the Papal Bullshitter, his High Unholiness the Pope and all those who covered this up. All of these victims deaths are on your hands, heads and souls. YOUR actions killed these people.

I am one of the lucky ones. By all rights I should be dead. My life was saved for some reason. No, to me it was not god, jesus christ or any of that bullshit that saved my life. It was the Universe and the Gods and Goddesses of Old. It was my Godmother who continues to watch over me from the other side. I am here for a reason. To take back my life, to take back my soul, to take back my mind and heart, from this evil priest, his perverted bosses and most especially to reclaim that which was stolen from me from this perverted church and it’s leaders.

The Evil of the Roman Catholic Church Leaders


His Unholiness, the Papal Bullshitter, Pope Benedict, said he wanted to do all he could to make sure the church took care of us victims. Yet he is full of shit plain and simple. He is more concerned with protecting his own damn ass and the church than he ever was protecting children from the perverted priests he has running his churches.

By his own damn words he convicts himself as one of the true perverts of the Roman Catholic Church. I am copying this report directly from http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/world-news/popersquos-child-porn-normal-claim-sparks-outrage-among-victims-15035449.html#ixzz1p7tlkhj3   and I am going to make comments as the sections go.

Victims of clerical sex abuse have reacted furiously to Pope Benedict’s claim yesterday that paedophilia wasn’t considered an “absolute evil” as recently as the 1970s.

In his traditional Christmas address yesterday to cardinals and officials working in Rome, Pope Benedict XVI also claimed that child pornography was increasingly considered “normal” by society.

How dare you, you sick and disgusting pervert leader of the Roman Catholic Church to claim that child pornography was considered “normal” by society. Which freaking society are YOU living in you sick and twisted pervert? I don’t know about you, but in the United States of America, you possess child pornography, YOU GO TO PRISON FOR IT, so is that normal to YOU, your Unholiness?

“In the 1970s, paedophilia was theorised as something fully in conformity with man and even with children,” the Pope said.

This just goes to show this pope more than likely molested children himself. He protects his child molesting priests, so what makes me think, with his reasoning and his words, that he himself does not molest children? How in the hell can he even call himself a man of god when he agrees that child porn and sex between an adult and children as normal and in full conformity? You are one sick and twisted individual Pope to be saying this crap out of your pie hole.

“It was maintained — even within the realm of Catholic theology — that there is no such thing as evil in itself or good in itself. There is only a ‘better than’ and a ‘worse than’. Nothing is good or bad in itself.”
REALLY? You scream how abortion, contraceptives, homosexuality, etc is evil all the damn time. Yet Your Unholiness the Papal Bullshitter thinks that child molestation and child pornography is not EVIL?????

The Pope said abuse revelations in 2010 reached “an unimaginable dimension” which brought “humiliation” on the Church.

The ONLY humiliation that has been bought on the church is us victims. You could give two shits less about the victims, your Unholiness. You only care about protecting your ass, the asses of your pedophile priests and the billions the church has. You do not care one iota about us victims of your sick and twisted priests.

Asking how abuse exploded within the Church, the Pontiff called on senior clerics “to repair as much as possible the injustices that occurred” and to help victims heal through a better presentation of the Christian message.

First off how did this abuse explode within the church? Because the leaders knew about it and they freaking hid it. When they knew a priest was sexually abusing a child, what did they do? Did they turn them into the police department for prosecution like they should have? NO. Did they defrock the priest? NO. Did they bend over backwards to help the victim? HELL NO. What they did, these marvelous church leaders, including the present perverted Papal Bullshitter Benedict, was transfer these priests to other parishes so they could continue raping and molesting other children.

The leaders fought any and all attempts to bring this to light and they did everything they could to avoid prosecution of these priests and the leaders who covered it all up. They still are doing this. Yeah for about one year when this really broke out, they worked with the victims, mostly offering them as recompense for the horrors we went through, to pay for therapy and if the victim was lucky, they got about 20 grand for their ruined lives.

N.H. is a prime example of this. There was a Bishop named McConnell who actually cared about the victims and did what he could for them. Yet the Pope and all the other officials hate these kinds of Bishops. They want them to settle with the victims as little as possible.

Yet what price do you put on the pain and suffering we victims have been through?

I know what I am demanding. $25,000.00 per year for pain and suffering for 37 years of horror and nightmares, For all the suicide attempts and my undying hatred towards the christians and the christian god. I am also demanding $15,000.00 per year for 34 years for lost wages. Plus they are going to pay my lawyers fees and any and all money paid back to Social Security and Medicaid/Medicare for all the money they spent thanks to my insanity caused by the priest raping me. I am also demanding that the Roman Catholic Church set up at least six half way houses for abused men. Abused women have all the help they can get, but abused men have no where to turn to for real help. Well the RCC is going to help me rectify this at least in the state of NH. Either they settle for what I want or I will take their sorry asses to court and let a jury award me ten times this amount.

What better presentation will be the christian message? That the Papal Bullshitter, his bishops and priests can get away with raping children, covering it up, torturing us victims with your false bullshit? I do not want to hear a better presentation of the Christian message because as far as I am concerned, your Christian message is that you are special in that you can rape children with no punishment at all and think your god and jesus christ can protect you and when you die you are going to spend an eternity in heaven???? Bullshit, Papal Bullshitter, you, your bishops and your perverted priests will burn in hell for what you did to us children.

“We cannot remain silent about the context of these times in which these events have come to light,” he said, citing the growth of child pornography “that seems in some way to be considered more and more normal by society” he said.

Again, BULLSHIT from the professional Papal Bullshitter. You are trying your damnest to say this is normal and this is in no way freaking normal at least by real society. Child pornography is a horror. Children ripped off the streets and made to prostitute themselves, forced to appear in child porn movies and pictures. Why do YOU consider this normal unless you yourself, Papal Bullshitter is sitting in your damn bedroom each and every night jerking off your tiny little dick over pictures of naked little boys and girls eh? I will even bet with your own words, you are not looking on the internet for child porn, but you, your bishops and your perverted priests are prime producers of child pornography.
Maybe you Unholiness Papal Bullshitter Pope Benedict, should be gang raped so you know the horror that we victims of your sick and twisted perverted priests put us through…..but I actually think you would love it myself.

The Face of Suicide I


Standing on the swinging bridge with the noose around my neck I was thinking of reasons why I should not jump off the bridge. It was one of the most beautiful spots I have ever seen and it would be my last thing I saw, so how could I not just jump and get it all over with.

See I was tired of life again. This would make the seventh serious attempt at ending my life since the priest raped me in 1975. I believed him. I believed I was evil and god did not want me any more. I remember when the priest was raping me I was begging and crying to god and jesus christ to make him stop. Maybe this priest was right. I deserved what I was getting from him. Ever since I told my friend at Austin Cate Academy what happened to me by this priest, I felt my whole life was doomed. Why should I continue to live? Why don’t I just end it and go to that hell the priest had consigned my soul so very long ago?

I threw my left leg over the rope railing of the bridge when someone screamed: It is not your time yet. I turned and there was this blond woman at the end of the bridge. She ran over and told me to talk to her. I did not want to, all I wanted to do was jump. Especially after she bought up the name of Jesus Christ. When she did that I got royal livid pissed at her and I started screaming at her how much I hated Jesus Christ and god and christians and religion. I let it all out. I took all of my pent up anger out on her. I thoroughly trashed her, her christian beliefs, and everything else.

She took everything I threw at her. She just kept on smiling. That just pissed me off even more. I really started to go overboard, trashing her again, I told her if I was a woman I would wipe that smile off of her face.

Then she said something that stunned me. She told me all the hate I had towards her and jesus christ, they had one hundred times more love for me. That really blew me away. I talked to her then. I stopped screaming at her. I even stopped hating her.

We talked for a while and then she left. She took the rope just in case. I left the Dolly Copp area that day and two days later contacted mental health and started therapy.

Yes, suicide seems to be the only option sometimes for my life. Yet I am still here. I am trying to figure out why. I still haven’t come up with an answer to it.

Victims of Clergy Abuse Deserve Justice


Enough is enough. The victims of Clergy Abuse Deserve Justice. We the victims of the sick and twisted priests of the Roman Catholic Church and his High Unholiness the Perverted Papal Bullshitter Pope Benedict and his protectors need to be tossed into prison period. All statue of limitations and protections for these sick and twisted perverts should be immediately removed. They are pedophiles and perverts being protected under the Vatican being it’s own country and having it’s own rules and laws. Their laws state it is perfectly normal to rape and abuse a child. The Papal Bullshitter himself stated in one of his christmas addresses that child porno is considered normal as well as sex between an adult and a child.

So you people of the Roman Catholic Church are protecting your perverted priest and pope at the sake of your religion and at the destruction of the children eh? You RCC adherents are just as damn guilty as your priests, bishops and pope who covered this shit up. When are YOU adherents of the RCC going to DEMAND full accountability for what your priests and church leaders have done to children? Is it you just want to be ostriches and stick your heads in the sand and hope this scandal goes away and vanishes like a fart in the wind?

It is NOT gonna happen as long as victims of your perverted priests and pope such as I are still living and breathing.

In March of 1975 a priest at St Thomas Moore Church in Durham New Hampshire raped me. He destroyed my mind, heart, soul and body. My life has been a living hell since then. Now I am fighting back. I will NOT go quietly into that good night. I will fight these perverts to my last breath and I dedicate the rest of my life fighting this sick and twisted group of pedophiles and child rapists.