Words have the power to heal, and the power to destroy and kill


This will more than likely be my last posting for this blog, Rape Victims of the Catholic Church.

Words have the power to heal, and they have the power to destroy and kill, and all the words thrown at me, by leaders, parishioners and others, for my speaking out about my priest rape, at the hands of Father Leon Gaulin at St Thomas More parish in Durham, and for demanding justice for not only that, but for all the others, who also went through the living hell that I did. For demanding all credibly accused Popes, Cardinals, Bishops and Archbishops who covered up these crimes, be arrested and prosecuted for their crimes, and for all the other victims, who went through such Roman Catholic horrors as their Magdalene and Good Shepherd Laundries, their Industrial Homes, their Women’s and Children Homes, and their Native American Children’s homes, or about all the suicide victims of this evil, about ten thousand of us, have either blown our brains out, hung ourselves, or taken drug overdoses, or killed ourselves in other ways and I dare state that any victim who killed themselves because of this..was in fact murdered by the Church…because if they had NOT been raped and brutalized in the first place, and then treated as the evil ones, the criminals, the seducers of priests et cetera, they would NOT have killed themselves….have finished their job and destroyed me.

I have been threatened with murder, that because I speak out, people want to take me out and murder me for it.
I have been told that I did not try to kill myself too hard and I should keep trying until I finally am successful.
I have been deemed an abomination, a homosexual, because I did not punch Leon Gaulin in the face when he was raping me. Because I did not punch him, that meant I not only wanted to be raped, I loved being raped and I am a homosexual because of it.
I have been told I seduced my rapist priest.
I have been branded a lair, a gold digger out looking for a payday from the Catholic Church.
I have been told I am an Anti-Catholic hater and bigot for speaking out.

When my lawyer, Peter Hutchins and I had our investigative interview with the Manchester Diocese lawyer and investigators, I was again branded as a liar.

I told them a Somersworth Police Officer brought me to the church. I know a police officer brought me there…I know it…I can still see him in my mind, his dark uniform and his rounded hat. I can still see him standing in front of Gaulin in the lobby talking to him. I know it was a cop who brought me there…but because Somersworth Police do not drive over city limits…well then I was a liar.

I told them I had NEVER gone inside of the chapel itself. I was in the lobby first, then we went through a doorway, turned left, and then went down the hall a little ways and turned right into a bedroom. I described the bedroom, the bed, with it’s dark wool blanket, the two dark head and foot boards. I described the dark curtains in front of the window. I told them about the two nightstands and how one of them, on the left, had a small waste basket in front of it. I described the colors of the walls as block painted white. I told them again, when they asked me, if I had ever been inside of the church and I stated again NO. That I had ONLY seen the outside of the church when going by it as a kid and I seem to remeber it was red brick on the outside of the chapel of the church.

I was branded a liar again, being told the chapel was RED TILED!!!

We filed suit against them and they had the suit dismissed through using the Statue of Limitations against us, when we filed a motion for the file of Gaulin and the blueprints of the place.

What was interesting in all of this? My lawyer sent his investigator to talk to Gaulin as he was living in Maine. Not two days after the investigator talked to him, Gaulin disconnected his phone, put his house up for sale and left for Florida with his husband, where they are safe. They have enjoyed their lives. without want, without need. They had roofs over their heads, their bellies full of food, all they could ever hope for apparently, rich from their real estate company.

WHILE  I LIVED A LIFE OF LIVING AND COMPLETE HORROR AND HELL. I THOUGHT I WAS THE EVIL ONE, THAT I WAS THE ANTI-CHRIST!!! SO MUCH SO I TOOK THE NAME DAMIEN FROM THE OMEN SERIES AS MY NAME.

I WAS HOMELESS, LIVING EACH DAY, BARELY SURVIVING. LIVING UNDER HOUSES AND BRIDGES AND ABANDONED HOUSES. DIVING INTO DUMPSTERS JUST TO GET FOOD. I WOULD STEAL BECAUSE BY THEN, THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY I KNEW HOW TO SURVIVE AND I ALSO PAID FOR THOSE CRIMES.

I WAS RAPED AGAIN, PICKED UP BY SOME FREAK HITCHIKING, WHO DRUGGED ME AND I WOKE UP TO HIM RAPING ME IN THE BACK OF HIS RV.

I WAS ALMOST RAPED A THIRD TIME…BUT THIS TIME DEFENDING MYSELF AND THEN BEING CHARGED FOR IT, BECAUSE THAT SCUM TOLD THE COPS I TRIED TO ROB HIM!!!

I LOST EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF THIS…EVERYTHING.

YES, WORDS HAVE THE POWER TO HEAL AND THEY HAVE THE POWER TO DESTROY.

WHEN THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH HAD A CHANCE TO DO WHAT WAS RIGHT….THEY DID NOT. THEY AGAIN, MADE FALSE PROMISES, THEY LIED TO THOSE INVESTIGATING THEM AND PROMISED TO ABIDE BY THE LAWS AND CHARTERS SET UP TO AVOID THEIR ARREST AND PROSECUTION, AND THEN ONCE THESE CHARTERS AND LAWS WERE SET UP, THEY BROKE THEM, BECAUSE THEY NEVER HAD ANY INTENTIONS OF KEEPING THEIR WORDS IN THE FIRST PLACE, THEY JUST DID ALL THEY COULD TO AVOID ARREST AND PROSECUTION AND ONCE THEY WERE SAFE…THEY WENT AFTER US ABUSE VICTIMS…USING THAT DISGUSTING BILL DONOHUE OF THE CATHOLIC LEAGUE AS THEIR ATTACK DOG AGAINST US TO USE ADS AND TV TO UTTER VILE, EVIL, DISGUSTING THINGS AGAINST US, TO BLAME US FOR OUR RAPES, TO DO EVERYTHING THEY CAN, TO BLAME US, AND ACCEPT ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

THEY CONDEMNED US..AS LIARS, AS SEDUCERS OF OUR OWN RAPISTS, AS HOMOSEXUALS BECAUSE WE DID NOT PUNCH OUR RAPIST PRIEST IN THE FACE. THEY BRANDED US AS LIARS, GOLD DIGGERS OUT LOOKING FOR A PAYDAY FROM THEIR CHURCH….AND NO ONE REALLY STOOD UP FOR US, NOT EVEN POPE FRANCIS HAS YET TO CALL THEM ON THE CARPET FOR THEIR EVIL, NASTY, DISGUSTING ATTACKS AGAINST US!!!! HE HAS NOT EVEN OFFERED ONE WORD IN DEFENSE OF US AGAINST THESE ATTACKS, BUT REMAINS MUTE AND SILENT ON THEM. HE DOES NOT DEMAND THEY STOP THEIR ATTACKS AGAINST US…NOPE.

BUT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO TRUST HIM? YEAH RIGHT….THAT WOULD BE LIKE A BLACK MAN OR WOMAN TRUSTING THE KKK OR JEWISH MEN OR WOMEN TRUSTING THE NAZI’S…BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY COMPARRISON I CAN EVEN THINK OF WHEN THEY DEMAND OF US TO TRUST THEM…

Well I have had it.

But I am not going to go and kill myself in some out of the way place. I am not going to kill myself where my voice will NEVER be heard because of  the reason why I killed myself.

Cardinal Timothy Dolan….you cried about YOUR unjust burderns and suffering that would happen to YOU if New York ended their One Year Statue of Limitations with the following:

Dolan also explained that he wanted to keep the statute of limitations for child sex abuse victims to one-year, because if the church gets sued, “The perpetrators don’t suffer. There’s no burden on them. What suffers are the services and the ministries of the apostolates that we’re doing now. Because where does the money come from? So the bishops of 30 years ago that allegedly may have reassigned abusers, they don’t suffer. They’re dead. So the people that suffer are those who are being served right now by the church. We feel that’s a terribly unjust burden.”

Well then Dolan…YOU WILL SEE WHAT REAL TERRIBLE, UNJUST BURDENS I HAVE CARRIED BECAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS, YOUR WORDS AND THE WORDS OF YOUR ATTACK DOG BILL DONOHUE AGAINST US…OH AND DO NOT WORRY YOU HOLY MAN OF GOD….I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTIONS OF HARMING YOU OR DONOHUE…BUT YOU WILL WITNESS THE HARM YOU AND OTHERS OF YOUR CHURCH HAVE DONE TO ME.

SO CARDINAL TIMOTHY DOLAN…YOU WISH FOR ME TO JUST KILL MYSELF SO YOU NEVER HAVE TO HEAR MY VOICE AGAIN? YOUR BUDDY BILL WANTS THE SAME? WELL OK….IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT….THEN THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL GET!!

BUT YOU WILL IN FACT WITNESS MY SUICIDE…RIGHT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES…SO BEFORE I DIE….YOU CAN LOOK INTO THEM…INTO MY EYES…AND WITNESS THE HORROR THERE, TO SEE THE TERRIBLE, UNJUST BURDEN YOUR PRIEST AND YOUR CHURCH HAS DONE TO ME….AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT LOOK IN MY EYES…BEFORE I TURN THEM OFF…AND I HOPE THAT STAYS WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE….THAT MY EYES, MY DEAD, SOULESS EYES, MY EYES OF PAIN AND SUFFERING, MY EYES OF THAT TERRIBLE UNJUST BURDEN, I HAVE CARRIED FOR OH SO LONG…..WILL HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

SO BE READY CARDINAL TIMOTHY DOLAN….YOU WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I DARE HAVE THE GUTS TO STAND UP TO YOU AND THE OTHERS AND YOU WANT ME TO SHUT MY MOUTH? WELL SOON, CARDINAL TIMOTHY DOLAN…VERY, VERY SOON….YOU WILL GET YOUR WISH…

I GOT SOME GOODBYES FIRST TO SAY…TO THOSE WHO DID LOVE ME, TO THOSE WHO DID ALL THEY COULD, WITH WORDS OF LOVE AND KINDNESS, TO HELP ME…AND ONCE THAT IS DONE…CARDINAL TIMOTHY DOLAN….YOU WILL SEE ME…BUT FEAR NOT CARDINAL…NO HARM WILL BE BROUGHT TO YOU…I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO WISH TO HARM YOU PHYSICALLY…I HAVE NO PLANS TO ATTACK YOU…CAUSE CONTRARY TO YOUR OPINION OF ME….I DO NOT GO OUT AND DO WHAT YOU HAVE CLAIMED I AM….

BUT I WANT YOU…TO LOOK INTO MY HORRIFIED EYES…MY EYES THAT CARRY THIS INCREDIBLY EVIL, UJUST BURDEN…RIGHT BEFORE I DIE.

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About victimsofrapebythercc

The Catechism offers a clear moral teaching: "Rape is the forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another person. It does injury to justice and charity. Rape deeply wounds the respect, freedom, and physical and moral integrity to which every person has a right. It causes grave damage that can mark the victim for life. It is always an intrinsically evil act. Graver still is the rape of children committed by parents (incest) or those responsible for the education of the children entrusted to them." (no. 2356) Note that rape is "an intrinsically evil act," meaning that it is evil at its very root, nothing justifies it, and it is objectively a mortal sin. An evil act was done against me, a crime, by a priest at St Thomas More Parish in Durham, NH. An evil and a crime I will no longer keep silent about. Those who perpetrate crimes against children, especially those of the Roman Catholic Church, should all be punished for their crimes against children. Anything less would be criminal.

Posted on October 23, 2014, in Bill Donohue, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Catholic League, Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, Child Sex Abuse, Clergy Abuse, Clergy Sex Abuse, Father Leon Gaulin, Pope Francis, Priest Child Sex Abuse, Religion, Roman Catholic Church, Roman Catholic Church Sex Abuse, St Thomas Moore Parish Durham NH, St Thomas More, St Thomas More Durham NH, St Thomas More Parish, Uncategorized, William A Donohue and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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