The Double Edged Sword of a priest rape victim
What a lot of people who hear about us victims of priest rape do not seem to understand is that this is a complete and total double edged sword.
When you are bought up in the Roman Catholic Church you are taught many things presented by the church. Their teachings about homosexuality is well known. It is considered a sin and evil. Those who practice homosexuality are considered disordered and abnormal by the church teachings on it.
Yet how do we male rape victims of priests get over what happened to us in relation to the teachings of the RCC on homosexuality? If you really look at the teachings, even with what happened to me, I would still be considered a homosexual. Even though it was rape, I still laid with a man and had sex with him. According to the church’s teachings I was evil and disordered.
It took 37 years for me to find the answer. 37 years of condemning myself over this. 37 years of hating myself over this.
This pedophile priest, this rapist of young men, was the one who is guilty of this evil, not me.
I have come to find out a lot about pedophiles since. They have an extreme sickness that they feel only sex with children can satisfy. They are also extreme control freaks. Evidence by most of us victims of priest rape apparently telling the same story. I have never talked to other victims of priest rape until recently. Yet the stories seem to be the same over and over again. The priest using some sort of “sin” we victims do, then the priest using that “sin” as a means and an avenue to rape us. Most of these priests, knowing the teachings of the church, then use the pains of hell to scare us victims into never revealing what they did to us. Also the tried and true method of who is going to believe us victims in the first place.
Those whom I have spoken with too have a hard time reconciling what happened to them with the teachings of homosexuality by the church.
What I have found all of us victims must learn though is that we are NOT homosexual simply because we had some sort of reaction when a priest was raping us. Even if we come to find out we are homosexual, we are not evil, nor disordered either according to the church’s teachings.
The evil from all of this comes from the priests, the leaders of the church who covered this up, and most especially the most perverted of them all, his unholiness the papal bullshitter pope benedict. When I read his christmas address he gave to his bishops and leaders of the church in 2010 I knew this pervert just did not understand or get it. How can any person who calls themselves men of god even allow the words he spewed out of his sewer pie hole to come out? How can this sick and twisted leader justify his assertions that child pornography is considered normal by most people and that sex between an adult and a child is not evil?
These priests, these leaders, this sick and twisted pervert pope, need to really visit with us victims. They need to truly sit down and hear our stories. They need to hear this kind of dialogue, the harm their perverted priests did to us and the effects of their lousy leaders, who are more concerned with covering their asses than they are in fixing this problem and doing right by victims of priest rape.
I have now come to the point where I realize I was not a homosexual. Yet the teachings of the church, the rape by this priest, the stupidity and evil perpetrated by the leaders who covered this up….still haunt me and my nightmares and probably will until I take my last breath.
Posted on March 18, 2012, in Religion, Roman Catholic Church, Roman Catholic Church Sex Abuse, Roman Catholic Church teachings on homosexuality and tagged Frank J LaFerriere, Frank Laferriere, religion, roman catholic church, Roman Catholic Teachings, St Thomas More, St Thomas More Durham NH, St Thomas More Parish. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.