Anatomy of a Priest Rape

I had ran away from the foster home I was living at in March of 1975. I spent the night with a couple of friends whom I knew when I was growing up named Tammy and Pammy and the next afternoon the police picked me up and brought me to St Thomas More parish in Durham for the night until my social services case worker could get me a new place to live.

I remember it was still light outside and the priest bought me into the rectory and to his bedroom. I remember the bed, it had a large, dark stained headboard of solid wood, it was solid and had a curve on the top with two posts attached and the lower foot board was the same way only shorter and coming up to the top edge of the mattress. There was a dark wool blanket and two pillows. There were two night stands, one with a lamp and a window with a white curtains inside with a darker curtain outside. The priest told me that I was a bad person that running away from home and it was a sin in God’s eyes because I broke the commandment of honoring my mother and father. He told me that I would have to do what he said to remove the sin from my life and save my soul from eternal damnation for breaking one of the ten commandments.

He took off his clothes and made me take off mine. I remember he had a slight paunch belly that was covered in sort of both gray and brown hair. He had me lay on the bed and he started masturbating me. I begged him to stop but he told me that I had to pay for my sins and this was the way God wanted me to pay for it. Once I was erect, which was disgusting to me, he then proceeded to give me oral sex. I remember the whole time he did it I was crying and begging him to stop but he kept on doing it and I felt so ashamed. I could not will my body to stop from even having an erection and I felt incredibly ashamed when I did ejaculate in his mouth. I really started to cry then and thought it was now over but he then told me I had to do to him just as he did to me. He told me what he had done was taken the sin from me and now to be cleansed of my sin, I had to take what he called his sacred sacrament. I begged him to not make me do it, but he then asked me if I wanted to spend an eternity in hell because if I did not do to him what he just did to me and take his sacred sacrament then that is where I was going to go.

I remember he had a small penis and even though I was disgusted, I did not want to go to hell like he told me. I closed my eyes, crying all the time and did what he told me to do. I remember I did try to bite him but he told me if I did that again he would punish me severely. It did not take long, maybe two or three minutes until he ejaculated into my mouth and he told me not to spit it out but to swallow it. I remember right after I swallowed it I threw up into a wastebasket he had besides the bed. He then told me that there was a second step to saving my soul for disobeying and breaking gods commandment for dishonoring and disobeying my parents by running away. He then went to the bathroom and got a jar of vaseline. He first made me perform oral sex on him again to make him erect then he put some vaseline on his penis and made me get on my knees and then bend over. I could feel him put some of the vaseline on my anus and then he penetrated me. He made me say the Our Father and the Hail Mary while he was raping me. It took him a while but I could tell he ejaculated into me. He then made me go to the bathroom and clean myself up. He threw me this dark robe and made me put it on and made me go back to his bed and then he laid next to me and “spooned” with me.

I remember laying there, scared out of my wits. I pretended I was asleep but he reached around and again started playing with my penis. He masturbated me again and then told me if I ever told anyone what happened then I would burn in hell for it. He said the reason I was not to tell anyone is because this was what God wanted and he was a man of God and that I must never reveal the healing I received by taking his sacred sacrament into me. He said this had to be done because I disobeyed god and again broke his commandment for dishonoring my parents. He again told me to never tell anyone or I would burn in hell. He kept saying that over and over again, drilling it into my head that if I told anyone that I
would burn in hell. I did not sleep at all that night. I laid there scared senseless and kept thinking to myself this must be what god wanted of me for punishment and I had to do exactly what the priest told me to do or I would spend an eternity in hell.

The next day my social worker picked me up but I was so scared to tell her what happened because I honestly believed if I did, then I would go to hell. I also believed she would not believe me at all. It would have been my word, a person considered now a juvenile delinquent against the word of a priest. She knew something was wrong but from what she said, she thought it was because I had ran away from the foster home and was worried I would now have to go to jail, but she brought me to the Teen Haven shelter in Rochester NH.

Right after this I became a pyromaniac. I believe it was because of the nightmares I was having about my burning in hell. I set fire to the woods out behind the high school in Rochester, I burned down a house in Madbury but then I got into severe trouble by burning a truck in downtown Rochester. I got arrested for it the next day and was sent to Austin Cate Academy in Center Strafford N.H.

About victimsofrapebythercc

The Catechism offers a clear moral teaching: "Rape is the forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another person. It does injury to justice and charity. Rape deeply wounds the respect, freedom, and physical and moral integrity to which every person has a right. It causes grave damage that can mark the victim for life. It is always an intrinsically evil act. Graver still is the rape of children committed by parents (incest) or those responsible for the education of the children entrusted to them." (no. 2356) Note that rape is "an intrinsically evil act," meaning that it is evil at its very root, nothing justifies it, and it is objectively a mortal sin. An evil act was done against me, a crime, by a priest at St Thomas More Parish in Durham, NH. An evil and a crime I will no longer keep silent about. Those who perpetrate crimes against children, especially those of the Roman Catholic Church, should all be punished for their crimes against children. Anything less would be criminal.

Posted on March 18, 2012, in Christianity, Christians, Guilt, Hatred, Hell, His Unholiness The Papal Bullshitter Pope Benedict, Homosexuality, Manchester Diocese, Manchester Diocese of the Roman Catholic Church, Manchester NH Diocese, Nightmares, Pope Benedict, Religion, Roman Catholic Church, Roman Catholic Church Sex Abuse, The Lords Prayer and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Anatomy of a Priest Rape

    I think all victims of pedophile priests should tell their story!
    It would be interesting to see how often God played a part in these perversions.
    It is the worst form of depravity to bring God in on the act and blame God for what the pervert priest was doing!

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